February 25, 2011

Ever Have a Stress-Free Cancer Dream?

I had a marathon dream last night that involved about ten different settings, four different eras of my life, my ballet teacher, her diseased father’s used gun and ammo shop, costumes, a high school fling, joining a cult, eating crushed cookies packaged up into little paper tubes, fantastic DIY interior re-designs of homes from my childhood, my brother and sister-in-law, and a speech I made about why overweight men can be very attractive.

In the midst of this insanity, there was a little off shoot dream. I don’t remember the images or plot, just the basic message. This mini-dream was an update on my emotional status of coping with cancer. I got the news that I was moving along on my path of coping. Much of the grief and exhaustion of cancer was behind me now. I was largely free to move on with my life. I learned I had already started to live a post-cancer life months ago but hadn’t yet realized it.

In my dream there was no sense of relief or reflection; that would have been too much a part of recovering from cancer. Instead I was just on to the next thing. I didn’t know what that was. But I knew what it wasn’t. It wasn’t cancer.

In ten-years, this is the first time I’ve had a cancer dream that was not a stress dream. It’s pretty damn nice.

Do you dream about cancer? Have you ever had a good cancer dream?¬† How do you think¬† you’ll know if or when cancer starts to take a back seat to the rest of your life?

For more tales about coping with life during and after cancer cancer, check out Everything Changes: The Insider’s Guide to Cancer in Your 20s and 30s.

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